12251 Spaghetti eating etiquette

For me, it's (post napkin in kneck of shirt!) a fork, head down & suck hmmmmmmm

[quote=Biagio;118169]Does anyone know why some italians believe that spaghetti should only be eaten with a fork and not with a spoon and fork which is supposed to be rude? I'm Italian and I don't know!

I wonder if this so called etiquette is more of a northern italian thing than a southern one.

:veryconfused:[/quote]

Well - north or south, it's my understanding that they don't lay a spoon and a fork unless you're having a broth and pasta dish (or similar). They (so I was told) use the plate as their spoon when eating spaghetti or the like. I can cope with that 'if' the accompanying intingolo isn't 'runny', but if it is then I have to decide whether the present company would snigger :no: if I did the table napkin tucked into neck of dress trick, or whether they would be educated enough to forgive me.

The only other real option is to select your pasta dishes with great care when in doubtful company and just 'pig it out' when you're on your own at home. (I sit in the bath wearing just a bib! :eeeek: - not a pretty sight )

Mind you - you could ask the same about the lack of a fork with a dolce? Just a teaspoon which you use to push [I]every[/I] delicious mouthful of 'pudding' around your plate til you despair and use your finger to push it onto the spoon!!!! :laughs:

Gowsh, seems like we eat in the wrong type of places!! What's the point in paying good money if you *can't* slurp and pick at your food?
:laughs:

But you can Tusk - no one will stop you - but there maybe an extra charge for excessively soiling your napkin. :bigergrin:

Having watched an Italian gentleman eat a tangerine with a knife and fork - never touched it with his hands – I can attest to the Italian sophistication in the use of cutlery. :bigergrin:

A tangerine with a knife and fork, Nielo? That's easy. I have a much more difficult one. Eating grapes with a knife and fork, peeling and seeding them. More like brain surgery.... but it is done....
As for pasta, in public I try to choose some variety with less technical difficulties than spaghetti. And spoons are not used unless you are eating "pasta in brodo".

P.S. For those interested in Italian table manners, here is a good link, although it is mainly written for Americans.
[url]http://www.ehow.com/how_2228059_follow-italian-table-manners.html[/url]

It's a bit like eating pizza with a knife and fork.

A PIZZE SE MANGE CH' I MMANE !!

I spent some of my early years in Rome where I became very adept at eating spag with just a fork. Mind you, I did go through a bad patch when i lost one of my front milk teeth and I couldn't easily chomp off any remaining excess strands. Instead I'd suck them through the gap which had disastrous consequences on the dispersal of sugo everywhere...

From Gala's link -

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]"Step 3
Observe the Continental dining style for holding your utensils. The knife should be held in the right hand and the fork in the left at all times. Holding your fork according to American customs will not be taken as an offense, but it may be noticed".[/FONT]

Only in Italy? I wonder if there is a similar guide as to how one should behave in other countries, i.e. [I]everywhere[/I] except the US. :smile:

Yes, there is. Actually, that same site qives you information about etiquette in other countries as well.
There is also a site with information on general etiquette in Italy, not only table manners, written by an English expert:
[url=http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/resources/global-etiquette/italy-country-profile.html]Italy - Italian Language, Culture, Customs and Business Etiquette[/url]
Many Americans seem to worry a lot when they go to a foreign country and there are plenty of websites to help them.
There are also books and even courses on the topic of etiquette and protocol.
My personal point of view on this matter it is to try to follow local customs as much as I can.
As a hostess, and I do welcome into my home a number of people from different backgrounds and nationalities, my rules are:
1.- Never look surprised if the guest does something which is not what you are used to.
2.- Never serve dishes which are difficult to eat unless you are used to them, i.e. snails, lobster, seafood that needs to be peeled, etc.
3.- If you wish to serve fruit, make it into a fruit salad with bite-size pieces
4.- Most important: Keep it simple

This way, you will never embarrass your guests and this is certainly the most important rule of etiquette.

I was told by an Italian, many years ago, that when children are taught how to eat spaghetti they are allowed to use a spoon and fork until they are competent, thereafter only a fork. Therefore for an adult to eat with a spoon is pretty brutta figura.
Robert ( not Angela)

yeh but no but yeh but, why is it a brutta figura? wot's wrong wiv eating spagetti wiv a spoon? Does anyone know?

Me - sometimes I eat with a fork only and sometimes I eat with a fork and spoon, especially when there's lots of lovely sauce left at the end, some to be scooped up with the spoon and the rest to be wiped with some bread. :yes:

Am I just Nu Cafone

Ah now ya talkin Biagio.. Cafone - Pane Cafone. Send me some. Please.

[QUOTE=Biagio;118877]yeh but no but yeh but, why is it a brutta figura?

Er, the reason is as written in my first post - to Italians only children eat spaghetti with a spoon ( if I have been correctly informed that is ).

wot's wrong wiv eating spagetti wiv a spoon? Does anyone know?

Nothing really, I'm sure Italians make exceptions for foreigners visitors, knowing how difficult it is to do it right. However if you've lived here a while they may wonder why you haven't acquired basic table manners.

Me - sometimes I eat with a fork only and sometimes I eat with a fork and spoon, especially when there's lots of lovely sauce left at the end, some to be scooped up with the spoon and the rest to be wiped with some bread. :yes:

Fine but at least you know the proper way now.

Robert ( not Angie )

Great thread Biagio.:smile: But it has sunk to the level of the bottom feeders now!! :bigergrin:

OK. I'm sure there is right and wrong, proper and inproper. Do I care, not much.

If i were invited to eat dinner with Sophia Loren, i.e The Queen, then I would care, but i won't be, so, my figura (with those that matter to me) is made up of more factors than how I choose to shovel my food.

Which, for the record, in respect of spaghetti is like this, with a [B][SIZE=4]knife[/SIZE][/B] and fork :laughs:

Quite simply, if God had made me to eat worms, she would have given me a beak.

My only dilemma - and here i would appreciate the wisdom of the forum, is this:-

- if the sauce carried on my spag experiences whiplash and flicks onto someone else (bodyparts, clothing, etc) would it be considered impolite to go and retrieve said sauce, and if not, with what should I reunite it with my plate e.g. knife, fork, spoon or tongue. :nah:

Go to the rescue armed with a soon and a knife and a serviette. Have the serviette dipped in a bit of sater, preferably some soapy water, so you are going to need some help. Don't use your tongue. Offer to send the clothing to the drycleaners..... And try not to flick the sauce onto the vintage linen tablecloth that has been nicely pressed for the occasion.... and get a plain serviette, not the one that matches the tablecloth. Definitely, you will not be popular.

Watch and learn. :bigergrin:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnGaw71RFXI]YouTube - come si mangia la pasta..[/ame]

Ghianda - the question posed in this thread was what the etiequette is for eating spaghetti. I simply tried to answer that question. Whether people choose to comply with the etiquette is neither here nor there to me . Bottom feeders ? What does that mean - is it yet another way to eat spaghtetti ?
Robert (not Angie ) ( end of my very brief involvement in IMF )

[quote=Gala Placidia;119227]Go to the rescue armed with a soon and a knife and a serviette. Have the serviette dipped in a bit of sater, preferably some soapy water, so you are going to need some help. [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][I]Don't use your tongue[/I][/COLOR][/FONT]. Offer to send the clothing to the drycleaners..... And try not to flick the sauce onto the vintage linen tablecloth that has been nicely pressed for the occasion.... and get a plain serviette, not the one that matches the tablecloth. Definitely, you will not be popular.[/quote]

Thank you for this invaluable advice - I have two points of clarification. 1) Is it necessary to ask permission before applying napkin and soapy water to affected person's clothing or parts? 2) In regards of the use of one's tongue - are there any exceptions to this? Surely, it might be a compliment if said recipient is rather gorgeous?

Italian society is rather conservative an prude, at least in public.

Surely all societies have sections that are conservative and prudish in public?

Yes, JC, but I think that some are more than others.

"moved to italiauncovered.co.uk"

I wanna tell ya a story.. There was a foreigner that once asked an Italian "come si mangia la pasta signore?"

Somewhat amused, but not wishing to offend the foreigner, the Italian replied "you justa putta da napkin ina youra shirt and you no usa da spoon cus ita make a you a looka lika 'orrible peasant - I no liar to you - dat isa da rule in a dis a place"

The Italian felt guilty, but he had been told he must make an exception for foreigners - and so he stopped himself from saying what really wanted to say which was "Boh, non lo so - ma non ti preoccupare - mangia signore, mangia - e basta". :bigergrin:

"moved to italiauncovered.co.uk"

[quote=Torchiarolan;119422]Are you sure you arent a puglian... that exclamation of "Boh" before politely dismissing a concern I thought was a local thing ?[/quote]

Nope, we use the very useful "boh" all the way up here too, as far as the swiss border! :smile:

[quote=Torchiarolan;119422]Are you sure you arent a puglian... ?[/quote]

How very dare you! :wideeyed:

I'll have you know Neapolitans invented "Boh" to accompany the usual shrug of their shoulders! :laughs:

"moved to italiauncovered.co.uk"

"Mboh" is very much alive and kicking in this parts too.

We too have the very useful "Boh"...We also have a very useful "Ne sadge" which means I dont know...
Sprat

[quote=pilchard;119538]We too have the very useful "Boh"...We also have a very useful "Ne sadge" which means I dont know...
Sprat[/quote]

Brescian dialect: "so'mia!" (I don't know, as opposed to the Italian "non lo so"...)

[quote=Angie and Robert;119205][QUOTE=Biagio;118877]yeh but no but yeh but, why is it a brutta figura?

[B]Er, the reason is as written in my first post - to Italians only children eat spaghetti with a spoon ( if I have been correctly informed that is ).[/B]
wot's wrong wiv eating spagetti wiv a spoon? Does anyone know?

[B]Nothing really, I'm sure Italians make exceptions for foreigners visitors, knowing how difficult it is to do it right. However if you've lived here a while they may wonder why you haven't acquired basic table manners.[/B]

Me - sometimes I eat with a fork only and sometimes I eat with a fork and spoon, especially when there's lots of lovely sauce left at the end, some to be scooped up with the spoon and the rest to be wiped with some bread. :yes:

[B]Fine but at least you know the proper way now. [/B]
Robert ( not Angie )[/quote]

Dear Robert (not Angie)
You (not Angie) seem to be a sensitive soul. Why do you (not Angie) think I was having a go? I was just asking a simple question on the forum about something that I've always wondered about. I've asked dozens of my Italian relatives and no one seems to know exactly why it's considered rude to eat spaghetti with a spoon. I'm not desperate to know, it's just a curiosity! There are more important things in life.

Thanks anyway for your contribution :smile:

.......or no words at all, just a simple lifting of your chin moving your head slightly back and the end of your lips down (if I've explained that properly).

Wouldn't it be great if we could have a separate Smiles icon list to show some typical Italian facial and hand expressions.

"moved to italiauncovered.co.uk"

Well Torch - a simple rule, if noone is responsible, pay noone.

Some people "vogilanno la botte piena e la moglie ubriaca!" :yes:

[quote=Biagio;119542][quote=Angie and Robert;119205]

Dear Robert (not Angie)
You (not Angie) seem to be a sensitive soul. Why do you (not Angie) think I was having a go? I was just asking a simple question on the forum about something that I've always wondered about. I've asked dozens of my Italian relatives and no one seems to know exactly why it's considered rude to eat spaghetti with a spoon. I'm not desperate to know, it's just a curiosity! There are more important things in life.

Thanks anyway for your contribution :smile:[/quote]

Biagio
I guess I misread your post, (or its tone ) - apologies, no offence intended, As you say it is all very unimportant, just chat.
Robert(not angie)
Robert