Italian book - Bereavement, Mourning and Loss

I'm sorry for her loss.  Although not a book, this link may help her. www.esperienzalutto.altervista.org  

My best friend died very suddenly (massive heart attack) and her husband has needed company and conversation and cuddles.  Three months on he is now feeling able to meet up with other friends and starting to build his new life but when Kath died he really needed us to be around.  The Italian way of leaving the body on the bed and having funeral within 24 hours meant we were with him constantly for those first 2 days and then every Wednesday we would take him out (it was a Wednesday night she died), every Sunday he would come to us for the day (couldn't stand Sundays).  He came shopping with us etc etc and we just contstantly talked and kept him company as he needed it.  The cuddles were something he was uncomfortable with for a start but after a week or so he actually would say I need a hug and knew it was ok to cry with us.  It has helped him and me.  You may remember my friend as she was a member of this community and donated their apartment to the raffle after the L'Aquila earthquake.  She wrote as "Fred and Kath".  Not convinced books and solitary reading is the way to go.

I agree, what she really needs is to talk ant to cry over the shoulder of people who care for her. If shencan't express her grief, she may need professional help or she would fall into depression. Try to organise a group of supporters and share the task. It will be better for all concerned. Is she a religius person? Prayer may hel her to heal. 

Thanks everybody for your thoughts and thanks Esme for the link. Indeed I agree 'sfogarsi' is of enormous value - talking, crying, raging, despairing with others. She is doing this with me and others. However there has also been a lot of research done about the stages of mourning. In my professional career in the UK I have seen that knowing how grief progresses offers comfort and a sort of map to people living with bereavement. I would like to offer my friend suggestions for something she can read in Italian - and she has welcomed this idea. As well as being with people there are many hours that she spends on her own - it is impossible to be with people all the time - and indeed she is already finding some of the comfort offered is full of directive advice that is confusing and angering. She feels sometimes like she is 'going crazy', which is a common sentiment when emotional experiences are extreme and new. And so having something she can read, perhaps at 2am when she has woken suddenly, could offer comfort. I have done some online searching for Italian books, but wondered if anybody had direct experience of a useful book. Thanks again

Knowing what the stages are - even if her stages are different - will help her to understand that she is not "going crazy". Grief is a process - so is recovery.  I will try to find something more in Italian for you to pass on to her, but until I do, give her a hug from me.

I haven´t read any of these titles, but perhaps some could help http://www.unilibro.it/find_buy/findresult/libreria/prodotto-libro/argomento-lutto_.htm

So very sorry to hear about your friend's husband.  Do hospices exist in Italy?  If so, perhaps it would be helpful to contact one for recommendations.  I used to be the office manager for one in the US and there were several books that were consistently recommended including Elizabeth Kubler Ross's "On Death and Dying."  It's possible that this may have been translated into Italian.

Sorry for the delay - I haven't had time to go into these sites too much, but it seems there is also a forum available on the first link - could be useful http://www.gruppoeventi.it/riflessioni-sul-lutto-mainmenu-33/7-aiuto/20-... Here is another link http://www.lrpsicologia.it/lutto%20e%20depressione.html

Here is the name of another good book that our hospice recommended.  It is still well-received all of these years after it was written.  Hopefully it has been translated into Italian: "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold S. Kushner

Thanks for all these ideas - I will pass the information on to my friend, in an appropriate way. I think as well that if she could contact support groups of some sort, even if online rather than face to face meetings, this could be of benefit. In fact online or email may be good as she lives in a small place and already feels like everybody knows her business and is looking at her and judging her for not comporting herself in the "right" way, family included. A sobering reality concerning the flipside of the "inclusiveness" of Italian village life. I am a support to her partly because I am a straniera. 

"Piccolo villaggio, grande inferno" . (Small town, big hell). It is generally the case in all countries, in all languages.  I do hope that your friend will be able to overcome this painful experience.