What's wrong?

Rickardo Image
06/08/2012 - 15:23

what's wrong with this forum? why is it so dead?


Welcome to the forum vikings123. You will find people here who think it's not a good idea to be comfortably well off, not a good idea to be happily retired, not a good idea to have a completed house and not a good idea to have no problems. I know, it is a bit strange! Terry

I have just recently plucked up courage to post on here, and like vikings123, not the kind of welcome  I expected. Although I have not posted in the past I have received some valuable information and think this site is great.

This is what happens here Rick;- someone asks a question, someone answers it in a lighthearted way, then someone thinks they are taking the mick or gets offended and then someone defends and someone counter attacks and someone says it isn't funny and then someone else says whats wrong with banter and then a fight breaks out and I get the blame and then we all go back to sleep. Simples.

In reply to by Esme

Hi Esme, Anastasia/Anaglypta, La Fenice......... or whoever else you think you are this week, Pilch here. I don't have time to indulge too enthusiastically at the moment............... I have a Wallaby to skin........... but till later, have a read of this & tell me if it reminds you of anybody.     WHAT IS INFERIORITY COMPLEX? According to WIKKIPEDIA, Inferiority complex in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme antisocial behavior, or both. Unlike a normal feeling of inferiority, which can act as an incentive for achievement, an inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement, often resulting in a retreat from difficulties.   Another term for having this syndrome is having a very low SELF ESTEEM. Many of us suffers this phase one way or another. Those with inferiority complex are more likely to be miserable, unhappy, ill-tempered and argumentable. They are ones who always feel rejected, unloved and useless. The confidence level is way down hell and attention span is way over heaven. Extremes, right?   So what could be the reason? Would it be how you were raised by your parents? Could it be how successful your friends are now? Was it because you were dumped by your EX because of that sexy chick he's going out with? Was it because you thought all along that you will be promoted but you were not? Or would it be for a fact that you just feel that you are NOT GOOD ENOUGH?   Whatever the reason is, we should know how to overcome it. I'll come up with another hub on how to manage it. First, let us know the signs that you have this so-called inferiority complex.    TOP SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE INFERIORITY COMPLEX FAULT FINDER - Since you don't really feel good about yourself, you also have difficulty feeling good about others. You really find ways to enumerate their imperfections. You look for ways on how you can make these people not feel good about themselves too. That's what we call crab mentality-we pull them down with us. These are the people that will never feel confident and superior unless the competition is away. You have the tendency to blame others to cover up for your shortcoming. If your friend is having an ultimate time with her boyfriend, and you don't have any, you will discourage your friend by saying things that might make her break up with him...so you'll have someone who will be as miserable as you are. DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM - These people know their flaws or shortcomings and yet, whenever they are being given an opionion they take it seriously and that will make them feel worse. Since they have extremely low self esteem, they feel like they didn't do well but if you point that out, well, that will be the day! TENDS TO BE TIMID ON A CROWD - Those people who feels inferior has the tendency to create a hermit out of themselves, avoiding social gatherings and meetings. They would rather be alone in their own world than having the world know their flaws. They feel that they aren't as smart and as interesting like others. It will really be hard to have this kind of person to speak up, because he feels that he will just make himself a laughingstock out of himself, afraid that he'll say something embarrassing or senseless. These are the ones who avoid debates, forum,etc. FLATTER ME! - You want to always hear others complimenting how you look, how you did on that article, what you did great or what have you. Because you are so desperate, there are some instances that if nobody praises you, you'll start telling people what you did so you'd get nice compliments. Or you will start asking people, "Do you think I did great?", "Do I look good tonight?" ...so you'd get complimented. (What if the person you asked said otherwise? Well...that wil make your self esteem way way low) DON'T FLATTER ME! - You don't want to hear any compliment, even you really did well. For you, that's just a way to make you feel a bit better, you feel like the comment isn't really coming from the heart. You refuse to listen to positive comments since you know inside your heart that you are not good enough. UNHEALTHY COMPETITION - You really don't love competing with others but if you do, you'll find all ways on how you can outdo your competition. Because if you loose, then you'll feel that you aren't that good enough and you will instill in your mind not compete with anyone for you will never win at all. You envy those who are always on top of everything and you feel you will never be like that even in your wildest dreams. So, do have inferiority complex? Do the signs fit your personality? Well, do not worry, like what I've said, it could be just a passing phase. You can always outsmart your feelings. There will come a time that you will realize how these signs can make you a better person...   Now read it again: properly this time. Pilch

Things I have learnt to my cost: 1. Irony does not work in the printed form 2. sarcasm can 3. Lighthearted in print can come across as a) furious b) taking the p/(£ 4 Engage brain before writing.  Rules of forums -1. the forum is dead because they are not talking about what you want to talk about.   2. everyone here is crass and stupid = they don't agree with you 3: everyone here is crass and stupid 2 = they ask questions you asked 2 years ago, and as you now know the answer the question is redundant.  Welcome !!   

... not quite as easy I would have hoped, but 2 great examples posted. Read several more of their posts and you will know which is helpful (they both can be very helpful actually, but one can also be a pain in the bum at times).  :)

On forums generally I agree with a lot of Ram's post, and the answers from established forum members which annoy me most are those which say 'we have been through this before, use the search facility'. Either the search facility is pretty gruesome, or the specific query isn't covered, and I think it's only courteous to reply personally, even if only providing a link to a relevant thread. As far as this forum is concerned, the lack of vibrancy has, I believe, two causes. Fundamentally the crisis has meant a huge reduction in the number of queries about house buying or renovating, or even utility bills or holidays, in comparison with five years ago. This has made it a bore for many really expert 'older hands', although hat tips to Badger, sagraisolar and Ram for retaining an interest. Additionally, the format of this forum is clearly extremely difficult for newcomers to handle (not that it is easy for those familiar with it!) Add to that the tortuous process of 'registering' (unless this has changed, this isn't one of those forums where you hang onto the page while the e-mail appears in your inbox.) I think this results in a minuscule growth rate of users.

It's not dead............but somewhat dormant for all the reasons that people have mentioned above.  I've had some really useful infomation from some really helpful people who I'm eternally grateful to - bizarre that the majority of the people I'll never get to meet in person and thank.  One or two people I have met and will continue to meet  - so not only has this forum been useful but an opportunity to make new friends in the flesh (so to speak!!) However what you've seen playout before you is what sometimes happens on these forums - why I have no idea! On the whole I tend to ignore it and bite my tongue as I can't believe what people say in the written word they would dream of saying to someone face to face ie when it becomes abusive.  I wouldn't participate in something like that in the real world so don't on a forum.  I'm very comfortable speaking my mind but not to abuse someone - I'm more than happy to hold and voice a different view but if it's not going to be constructively received then I often don't as the thread loses its focus and spirals down till we get to rock bottom So on that cheery note - I'm in the UK at the moment with my central heating on - how crap is that!!!   Looking forward to being back in Italy - 7 weeks till then - so hopefully you'll keep the sun shining for when I'm there as I'm loooking like a rusty Caspar at the moment (Caspar is a cartoon ghost!!) 

Here we go again...blah blah....high horse syndrome.....don't listen to those nasty oiks....and a creeping out of the woodwork from all the high moral standard brigade...!! (extra punctuation and dots cause I know it gets up some peoples noses) sorry but I think i spelt it all ok this time.

  Thank you for answering my question. I think I understand now.It is a shame.I am new. sorry nothing i can do about that, but why that gives anyone the right to call me a  schizophrenic i dont understand.I think I willleave you to get on with calling oneanother nasty names and destroying what could have been a good forum