Andrew's activity

 nearly got it; thought it was the ship sketch with Morecambe and Wise and Cliff...

 Just a thought; have you considered Perugia with RyanAir?

  1. Lord Stevenson: former chairman, HBOS 2. Sir Fred Goodwin: former chief executive, RBS 3. Andy Hornby: former chief executive, HBOS 4. Sir Tom McKillop: former chairman, RBS 5. John McFall MP: chairman of Treasury Select Committee 6. Alastair Darling: Chancellor of the Exchequer 7. Gordon Brown: Prime Minister and former Chancellor 8. Sir Terry Wogan: presenter of Radio 2's Breakfast Show You're probably thinking Terry Wogan............. And you're right.   However, the reason may surprise you........... Terry Wogan is the only one out of this motley crew who actually holds any formal banking qualification!! True.

 The English Penny EU Directive No. 456179 In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase 'Spending a Penny' is not to be used after 31st December 2009 . From this date, the correct terminology will be 'Euronating'. Thank you for your attention.

 I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass wind. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my wind with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

 Hi Monica; to be honest I wouldn't recognise the soccer players even if I bumped into them. The last time I was at La Borghesiana there was a couple of pro soccer teams there (Torino and Lazio I think) and to be honest they were quite dim and rude. Every time one of them entered the dining room they left the door open, until I actually called over to them to shut the door please! Maybe however they are paid enough to have a professional door shutter follow them everywhere. Alternatively I'm of the oval ball persuasion; that's why I was at La Borghesiana; and I'm very fortunate to count many of the Italian team as family friends. What I've noted with the International; players is that; the higher up the 'ranking' they get; the more humble they are. Always great company. The nearest I've been to pro soccer is presenting a lecture to 150 soccer coaches of the 'Inter-Campus Soccer Schools' at the San Siro stadium in Milan (Inter's sort of satellite system); I was even allowed to have a walk on to the pitch for about 15 seconds!

 To be honest Monica that's the advert that inspired my comment; although I pass on the fruit, milk, bread and cut straight to the Nutella! The little guy that gives him a shove at the end I believe is a waiter at La Borghesiana, a sports hotel in Rome where Italia Calcio train, and I've also stayed for other reasons. After introducing my 90 year old (young) Mum in UK to Nutella, she gets through a jar a week! 

 and also they inspire me to have Nutella for breakfast!...

 A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is; until the ship sank.  He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,  nothing; only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is  lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.  In disbelief, he asks,  'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'  She replied,  'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'  'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.'  'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on  the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.'  'But, where did you get the tools?'  'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'  The guy is stunned..  'Let's row over to my place,' she says.  After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As  the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please.. Would you like a drink?' 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.'  'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet.' No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months.You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've beenlonging for?' She stares into his eyes.... He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes... 'Bloody hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'

 owd on a bit yowth; we already have some folks here from Ilsa and Matlock...goodness me...