Community Spirit

Colonel Mustard Image
02/04/2010 - 06:28

As you know I have not been a member of this forum for very long. I have visited other forums, as you do, and noticed that on other forums there appears to be more of a "Community". Is this forum soley for the publishing and giving of imformation to others about Italy.  Is there a section I am missing out on? I had hoped to find more friendly banter and discussion. Please do not think that I am saying what happens here is not helpful, it is. But maybe a little bit more humour and laughter would create a warmer community. Would a more open and friendly communication between forum members draw others here do you think? This is purely an observation.


 Have you joined the other forums where you have found more friendly banter and discussion with more of a community?  If so, would you be kind enough to let me know which forums you suggest?

In reply to by Colonel Mustard

No you have just stated a fact, and that's why many people have left this "borum" there is a very good alternative but you have to have a sense of humour to join because it's not all about giving and receiving info it's also about having a laugh, having a  moan, and being allowed to offer opinions and having a debate without someone stamping their feet and having a paddy! So ask y'self Mr Mustard are you one of them or one of us?

but, what is "one of you"? My avatar was chosen for personal reasons only...must I tell you what it means to me and my wife? Annec, if this is how you too responded on "the old forum" to perfectly innocent questions no wonder people left, and the forum became a place for unwanted & uncalled for critisism. Look to yourself.

  Actually I was responding to qui gia not you Colonel.  As far as your avatar goes, I was making a joke about the fact that qui gia says this forum is boring and your avatar looks bored (hence, in her words, "one of us") Don't think you'll get much banter going if you take offence that easily. Alanh says it all, and I don't think this site is immune to stowaways either

Dear Colonel,   In the days of the 'old forum' it was a lot more like you mention it is elsewhere. However, after time it degenerated into a number of members trying to 'bully' anyone who posted anything they disagreed with.  It became very 'nasty' at times and several frequent posters left.  In those days we had a 'Thank You' facility [Grazie button], where you could add your name to the bottom of a post to show you agreed/welcomed/or whatevered, the posting.  Some members opened new accounts under names like 'turdle go home' and 'turdle is talking rubbish' so they could thank every post by turtle and really mess the system up.  Others decided [through another forum] to bombard the system with unkind PMs and new postings, to overload the system, and the whole thing degenerated into chaos - creating the need for a more 'sedate forum - and causing us to lose what was, in many respects, a superior forum [when it worked] to this one. Personally, I miss thinks like the Friday Joke, but accept that more boring, but less antagonistic forum is better for those who want info etc. What I don't miss are postings like [lifted from a quick scan of the old forum];- "..... everyone knows you do it - but no one will ever tell you to your face that you're a sour faced gossipmonger who is intent on malevolently claiming to see something flagitious where no such thing exists."  and " ...... please try to be more attentive as the men in white coats may be just around the corner if you insist you can see things that aren't really there"

I admit I didn't know what 'flagitious' meant, so after looking it up, I did a search on the word on the archived forums and found the post referred to above by Alanh. It was the only post where the word had ever been used in all the posts and threads contained in the archives so it was very easy to find. After reading the entire thread, I don't feel Alanh's representation of that post as quoted by him is fair and it made me wonder why he would choose it to show how 'nasty' the archived forums were.  The problem with 'lifting things from quicks scans' is that it can often be done in error or even to misrepresent when taken out of context.  Somehow, I feel it was not in error, but I do hope I'm wrong. Colonel Mustard, whatever "one of us" is, all I know is I am not "one of them" and so, I ask you again to please be so kind and let me know of any other Italian forums where there is not such a prevading feeling of malice.  Please feel free to send me a private message if you feel giving the names of these other forums within this thread is not the done thing.

"I have visited other forums, as you do, and noticed that on other forums there appears to be more of a "Community"." My mistake for assuming they were "other (Italian) forums" you were talking about Colonel.  Do forgive is so easy to misunderstand on a forum, isn't it? :)

Hi Colonel, of course every community needs to progress and grow, but you should consider the fact that we are a relatively "young" community - we have just passed the first step: creating a new community and giving useful tools to let members express their love or experience of Italy (through photos, restaurant reviews, wiki pages, groups). Hopefully many people join everyday so I look at the future positively. We don't want to force things. We are happy about your suggestions and that you decided to share them with us. Maybe you could create a new group dedicated to funny things or something like that (always related to Italy). 

Annecs little strop just emphasised the point.   I didn't actully suggest the people were boring just the forum since the change. The fact is we don't all share the same opinions so some debates get a little heated from time to time and that's when it's good for another person to come in with a little humour to lighten things, and maybe redirect  the thread. As the colonel suggested- The forum is in need of a little humour.

  One thing I have learnt from this Community and the old forum is ....Never Apologise....that implies you were wrong in the first place, and people smell blood, and the personal attacks begin......... Be proud to disagree, and question things....after all we're all individuals; aren't we...? Line Cast......float bobbing wait.....

  I seem to have touched on a raw nerve or two here. There seems to be a measure of history on this forum of which I know nothing. I can understand there may have been some heated discussions in the past & even a degree of anger. You appear to have pruned away some rot but you forgot to cauterize the stumps. The stumps appear to still be bleeding & the drawing room carpet is ruined. However it all has nothing to do with me. I don't know what went on & I don't want to know what went on. Whether or not this is a young community or a born again community doesn't matter. It is not what you call it, it is what you do with it that counts. So, who's for some tea and biscuits?

  There is nothing to stop anyone being humorous or having a bit of banter on this forum - why don't you try it?   I have seen other postings about the site being 'boring' but those same people do nothing to make it to their liking! Some members here are still fragile from the not very nice forum of yesteryear and probably feel it rude of people who complain. This site has evolved, at present, into quite a polite and 'grown up' forum for like-minded adults.  There is a very childish, with loads and loads of banter and lots of silly chit-chat on another forum - if that's what one is looking for!

This is the most entertaining thread since I joined. Long may it last. Viva Italia. Tea & biscuits, whatever. Sambuca and and a good bottle of rosso.

  Now I'm getting confused.  Which forum (with lots of banter) do you mean Joy?  Will someone please explain what all this is about????

Well I know I'm both a newcomer to this forum and to this argument, but I'll put my twopennnorth in. I started out on here with the best will in the world, but quickly noticed on other posts that any spark of humour or banter seemed to be quickly smothered, by the 'serious brigade' hijacking them. I'm not talking about vulgarity or crudity, just lighthearted comment, and this always seemed to be squashed by killjoys. This discouraged me from making posts, in case they received the same treatment. I have to admit there is a distinct feeling of 'big brother' about many aspects of this forum, which might otherwise be a place for spirited (and friendly) debate.

 Colonel - are you one of the administrators of this forum posting under a nom de plume? What's the Italian equivalent of nom de plume?  I just language-googled it and it did not give me a translation. Have you been recruited to liven things up?  If so, it's working. Years ago I was listening to a local phone-in "solve your problems" programme on the radio where an agony aunt dished out advice.  There was a regular caller we listeners looked forward to hearing from, it was a bit like a TV soap, where we got updates on a traumatic relationship.  Well, one evening, the agony aunt unknowingly broadcast her private conversation to the producers asking for her "notes on the story". Well ........ that was the end of that agony aunt.  She lost all credibility and was taken off air permanently and a new Marje Proops (you have to be over 40 to know who she was) was brought in!  Don't be offended by my question, I like your postings, and I certainly don't want you to go "off air" in a huff.  We had a long debate a few weeks ago about one of the posters on the forum, was Tess a wind-up or was she not?  Eventually, we discovered she was indeed genuine, and had made friends on another forum.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

 Can't guarantee that all the players of the Rugby team that I coach are 6 feet tall, green eyes etc, but most have a very pleasant smile (except during coaching sessions and games) and most have a flash car or two. They are also fortunate to live around San Benedetto del Tronto; Pearl of the Adriatica, and being 'beach beautiful' is not an option. The reference to 'Indian' was when; some time ago; I posted that in our village there's a pizzeria owned and run by an Indian family (domiciled in Italy for many years) who, on Tuesday evenings; offer a full and authentic Indian meal as long as you book in a minimum of 4. When I posted a couple of readers (now long gone I think) came on the attack regards eating anything other than Italian food in Italy. Their loss. Our Bangra dance.

Get real and grow up folks.....this forum is boring because it's easy not to have to moderate any difference of opinion or friction within the ranks. What price an easy life eh? Everyone knows which 'other forum' you're all talking about but are too scared to mention. But - alas - being scared to mention the other place or it's ocupants was, basically, made a pre-requisite for membership here in the Piazza. (and what a disappointment that has turned out to be).  Last June following some bitter complaints from many - including me - about biased 'Moderation' (which ultimately was proved to be the case), the indecently rushed metamorphosis   of the old Italy Mag was launched. I say indecently rushed because preparation time was clearly lacking - the site, IMHO, is still like the Hampton Court maze.  Despite needing the patience of Job, it is still so user unfriendly as to seem  inhospitable to many of us who were used to a forum that you could navigate with ease (even if you did trip over the occaisional mauled body    of a member during your visits),  and which was peopled by a crowd who (unlike this forum) were themselves 'user friendly'.  All of those who were the angriest/naughtiest of them had a reputation of being among the first to jump in if/when help was needed... But where are they all now? Well they're certainly not here are they? More's the pity?  (Well not as we remember them anyway). Let's be honest - the old forum was always very informative, easy to navigate, peopled long term by mainly intelligent people whose main aim was to help others. So what if there was a 'fly in the ointment'? Most of us fell for the continuing sob stories we were fed - choosing to believe one side as opposed to another. It took me a loooong time to wake up to that one - but I did eventually. Yes there were others who didn't have (as the Italians put it) 'peli sulla lingua' (straight talkers), but they attracted a lot of 'views' to that site and stimulated a lot of posts. And NOT just anti-social posts which were 'mostly' deserved, but good solid posts full of information. It is habitual when someone/something dies to say "The King is dead. Long live the King!" - but alas I just can't bring myself to voice that sentiment about the death of the 'old' Italy Magazine Forum! Wan't it 'livened up'? Then do something about it!   I fear I will now get my marching orders from the Piazza so I won't be around to have a moan and a whinge about this place. But I've been chucked out of plenty of places in my lifetime, so landing on my butt on the pavement is nothing new to this senile old goat.

If this passionate and brave senile old goat gets the boot then I am afraid I might have to pack up my kit bag and jump ship.Freedom of speech is a fundamental right.If someone is critical of the goverment of a fascist dictator they might expect recrimination. But, is this really the kind of governance we have here? I hope not, and I believe not. Or at least I prefer to believe the administration to be equable and fair till proven otherwise. If not they have no right to call this place a Forum.I had popped the kettle on for some tea and was just about to break out the ginger nuts, homemade of course, when you all started talking about curry. So, I'll just have a word with my curry wallah to slaughter a goat (good graciuos, not the old senile one of course) and get a good fire going.

Love it!  Pithy, amusing and well-scripted verbal jousting - not a lazy, angry, personal slanging match.  Bravi! IMHO tother forum is full of wannabes and groupies who claim to have a bisnonno from Calabria or (wherever) and feel that gives them their right to an opinion on all things Italian.   Forums (fora?) are fluid and organic beings and I'm not sure how you control such things without censorship - which we don't want surely? Personally I've found this one both useful and diverting but then I'm lucky that I also have a 'locals' forum just for my region in Italy which is ottimo. Viva la differenza :) Katy  

"Everyone knows which 'other forum' you're all talking about but are too scared to mention."   Which more or less endorses what I said earlier about the 'big brother' aspect of this one. I get the impression if the 'other forum' was mentioned by name, there would be a mass exodus from here.

 I guess it depends on what you really want to get out of a forum or community. For me, I think the information aspect here is very good. Small things. But, for example, have four lemon trees but in eight years never thought about making my own limoncello. Yesterday, following Carole B's recipe, there is no stopping me. May have overdone the lemon content and at €12.90 for one litre of 95% alcohol, not cheap. But who cares? It gives me pleasure and if I can help others with things that maybe I have some knowledge about, then its an easy trade for me. 

  There isn't, as far as I am aware, of any censorship on this site except when things get really personal and nasty as happened before the changeover. There were certain people who came in a variety of guises and if you said anything they didn't agree with you were verbally abused and made a laughing stock.  I don't want to see that return. I do get miffed when people come on saying 'this forum is rubbish' (and therefore its members are the same)  This is very insulting to the members and I do feel like saying 'if you don't like it sod off'.  You wouldn't go in a pub and say it or someone would kick you out. If no-one replied to some humour shown maybe the like-minded folks just didn't happen by that week and missed it, after all everyone isn't on here every day and things get 'lost'.  Lighten up !!  The world is full of all types of people.  Some have more sense of humour than others.  Some like to read it but maybe not able to reciprocate but it doesn't mean that it isn't enjoyed. Forums all over the internet vary and they all fill needs for different types of people.  No-one is going to like everything.  If you don't like one then look elsewhere but don't be so rude as to say so and ask where else you might go. The Tess saga - there are often 'windup' merchants that take pleasure in starting a thread and have everybody offering their help and then never heard of again.  It was odd that for someone so lonely that needed help didn't return for quite a time.  I have read the other forum - personally still in two minds on that. The thread was started on the 27th Dec?  odd that hubby wasn't with her over Christmas and New year????   There are some fabulous people on this site  who give very valuable advice and assistance to a lot of people - generally having to repeat it time and again !  To them I say thank you.

Hi all, just wanted to say Grazie to all members that support us.  I think that every forum has its atmosphere, its members, its topics and tools, that's for sure. This kind of sites (communities and forums) are meant to provide help and answers to its members and I really hope that Italy Magazine represents a great source of information for everyone who wants to learn more about Italian culture or is planning a trip in Italy or is even thinking about buying a house in Italy. Will try to do our best to let this Community grow. Grazie a tutti. Valentina

If I want entertaining I go and choose where I want to get it.......If I want advise and help I go somewhere else.....Sure, I buy basics in 'good value' shops and other elsewhere...Think we can all learn from each other so I'm stll learning and enjoying it !!!! 

  Hi JoyI didn't mean to be and I don't think I was rude when asking for information about other forums, as we all like to broaden horizons, but you do make some other excellent points in your post. When I like what someone posts here, I like to read up on other posts they have made but I couldn't find any posts from you on the old site.  Were you a member of the old version of this forum?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Quote: "Thanks Annec, I've just been and looked at that forum, and Iv'e joined up. They look like a fun bunch, whats your user name on it." What a fabulously innocent  observation... well done Colina. So come on Annec - do tell....'What is your monicker over there?'

  Oh no the secret is out!, Anne is really Anastasia, I am the goose, and my cat Misha fills the other roles, such a relief to have it all made clear now. And we can now stop posting from our "gem" of a bedsit... with access to google from our local internet cafe.     Phew Ax

"Oh no the secret is out!, Anne is really Anastasia, I am the goose, and my cat Misha fills the other roles, such a relief to have it all made clear now. And we can now stop posting from our "gem" of a bedsit... with access to google from our local internet cafe".   I guess your post was made after the watershed, so possibly your cat could fill several roles, but what are you actually talking about?